Wednesday, March 23, 2016

Walking On The Precipice Called Equality

Image: Desktop Nexus.
Women are Weaker than Men. This phrase ignites a burning anger within me. One that consumes my soul. I would not have written on this prompt since I am hosting this prompt on my site but then I got one [I will not call hate] but rather an outcry from one of my fellow counterparts demanding to know why we are propagandizing that women are weaker than men. Are we? Being the feminist that I am, the very thought behind this statement makes me want to lash out. 

We are what we are due to our upbringing...
My fight to prove this statement wrong did not start today. And no I did not have an abused childhood where women were treated with disrespect. In a house dominated by 4 sisters [we lived in a joint family] over one brother, such a thought would have snuffed out even if it had been ignited. 

My fight strangely started after the birth of my son. Or I would rather say it started with one dialogue from a family member [no brownie points for guessing The Who]. She said, "Now you can buy him all the expensive toys since he is a boy." 

Do not differentiate between children...
I saw a look of horror crossing over the face of my seven-year-old. For the first time, in my house, the dormant division between a girl and a boy was etched. A line that refused to go away after that. My little girl took it to heart and slowly we both realized that small-small things were made very clear that a boy can do what a girl can't.  The worse was what a small girl was expected to do - like helping in the middle of the night if her brother is crying. She was just seven for god's sake. That was the day I decided to bring out the feminist within me. I became her shield. It was tough for fighting against a mindset is never easy. 

Teach your daughter to fight back - with positivity. Not bitterness.
I saw a change in my daughter too. She wanted to do things more aggressively and better. I suppose I should be happy about that. But something did not feel right. When I sat down to talk to her she told me bluntly that she had to prove to certain someone that women are no less than men. I felt very sad. This fire had ignited inside my daughter by a woman herself. So now instead of women are weaker than men, women are women's worst enemies started looming in my life. 

Grrrr...[could not think of an apt title here without sounding angry]
I brought both the parties together and made then sit with some serious talks. Unfortunately, the ingrained teaching of her ancestors did not leave the-certain-you-know-who. And more, unfortunately, my daughter took it as a personal issue. Now her every action is to prove that she can do anything she sets her mind to. I agree it's working positively for me. She has taken the positive route to prove herself. Instead of being bitter and angry that she initially was.

Change your own world first....
But as they say, charity begins at home. So a change must occur first within our own small world before we can make any changes in the world. I am sharing this part of my life with all readers not to prove a point. For I suppose for centuries, women from every corner of their world have been trying to do only do that. I have written this article to just share one point - as a mother of both a son and daughter, both are equal to me. BOTH. In my own world, I as a mother pledge to teach both my kids just that. Nothing more and nothing less. 

“Written for the Blogging Community: An initiative by The Book Club in the body of your post.
Disclaimer: I am not writing this post to win the competition and it will not be judged. 

Tweet: Women don't demand greatness. We demand equality. I respect men but as a woman, I demand my #respect too. Join our #BloggingCommunity


  1. Great post Rubina, from the heart. I agree with every single word of yours. I also had my daughter first and then my son came four years later. By the time he showed up. people knew better than to dare suggest that I treat them differently :P They are two individuals, who just happen to belong to different sexes. Both are my blood. And that's it

  2. I remember when my daughter was born and my in-laws were not too happy as she was a girl...first grandchild of the family and that too a girl!! Now my son is a step away from suing us for discrimination.

  3. Well said. I especially agree with the point "do not differentiate between your children".

  4. Nicely written.... every woman being a woman differentiates, which itself angers a lot. Hats off to such a great post...

  5. Your thoughts are commendable, Rubina.

    I have only one kid so no chance of discrimination :P
    Wish the universe follows the above code though :)

  6. Sad but true! happens in every house. Well written - it starts at home.

  7. It's saddening to know that these mindsets still exist and in urban educated classes too. For our part webcam do our best by helping the next generation break free of these restrictions and carve their own paths.Your daughter sounds very assertive. Good for her!

  8. I hate it when such mindsets exist....The only solution is to start at home as you say...I have promised myself to bring up my daughter in a way that she doesn't discriminate and that she doesn't take nonsense just because she is a girl..That's the best I can do and hope everyone does that...for our future

  9. I haven't come face to face with such blatant discrimination, but the subtle gender bias, yes. I also think that people don't openly discriminate in front of me to avoid the long lecture that they will inevitably get.