Saturday, February 14, 2015

The New Age Fraandship by Janaki Nagaraj

New Motto of Frandship 
Today I have on my blog Janaki Nagaraj. I met Janaki for the first time in the virtual world of Blogging. I have never met her in my life but some friendships form and even friends who have not seen each other become very close. Hopefully the person who she is talking about in the post below is not me. :P 

A candid writer, a mesmerising poet and above all a lovely human being. Though our bone of contention is Salman Khan... but then between friends such sacrifices are quite common. :D

You can read all her wonderful articles, soul touching poems at Memoirs of a Homemaker 

Over to you Janaki :)

The New Age of Fraandship 

Many of you will agree with me when I say that we transferred most of our brain’s data into our mobile phones when we acquired one. The most important export being the phone numbers, birth dates, wedding anniversaries and other important dates of near and dear ones. What we had taken as an integral part of our memory storage system made us partially brain dead once we transferred the information.  But what will be the scenario when your mobile crashes or if you delete any information or number by mistake?

Drama, chaos, confusion, and irritation…the list goes on.

Picture this. Some one messages you on whatsapp and you haven’t saved the said number or have deleted it by mistake. You message back politely asking who the person is. And what do you get in return…a sad forwarded message that will go something like this

East or west
Friendship is the best
But what a waste
That you don’t communicate

But that does not stop there. An entire dukhbhari kavitha is sent to you while you are still trying to figure out who the person is as the display picture is either that of a kid, pet, meme or nature.

Every one of us will have a friend like the one I am talking about. I really cannot fathom what grouse or insecurity they have in their life that they take it upon themselves to make others life miserable. 

It may start with a good morning wish. And if you are in the mood to reply the same then you are saved for the day…else you will have to face a barrage of messages all of them accusing you of not being a good friend.

Since when did friendship come with a clause? Does forwarding message the only means of communicating, which means that we are connected with others and have not forgotten them? And, not following the bandwagon makes us a bad person?
Social media and the zillion apps have encroached upon our life and it has given an unwritten permission for people to trespass into our life too.

So, how do you manage such a friend? I gave a piece of my mind and let the person go. I bargained for Peace instead.




22 comments:

  1. I totally agree with what you did. A gentle reminder/subtle rebuke is an option at first but if the person continues to try to emotionally blackmail you or lead you on a guilt trip, it is definitely time to reevaluate the need of this kind of friendship in your life. We have enough worries and sorrows anyway without having to be sad because of our friends.

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  2. Yes and they don't even wait for a delayed response. Just because they have free time, they assume we are free too to respond. Thanks Roshan.

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  3. Hi Ina, thanks for letting me share this space. If not for Sallu, our conversations would lack spice. But honestly, thanks for the trust you have in me. No, you aren't the person I am talking about...you are not even close ;) Guess it needs a special talent to be so :D Am so glad that we are such good friends. Thanks again.

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  4. Janaki - very well said! Friendship, I like to think is based on mutual trust and love. And I am blessed with many I practically grew up with. Of course, some will stay and some will go - but I am glad to say those are recent interactions.

    :) That first para hits the spot!

    Me, I am old-fashioned - I like to actually write down numbers and names in a beautiful address book I got a couple of decades ago. I also prefer to dial numbers from memory - not much of a mobile person, Janaki. And it helps that I have a landline phone with no caller id.

    Great post! Glad I saw it thanks to Ina sharing it on G+.

    Happy Valentine's Day to you both!

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    1. Happy Valentine's Day to you too Vidya. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I had committed most of the numbers to memory and was lauded for the same when I 'remembered' a special day promptly. I am loosing it though :)

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  5. We'd rather do without such friends who demand that we reply to every Good Morning, every joke, or every Happy Sakranti forward. But seriously, it gets a bit overwhelming these days.
    Thankfully, I have no intention of asking for my share of Salman. But even if I did, anything for Janaki.

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    1. Hahaha...Salman cannot be shared...to each her own :) Yes, Alka...social media is helpful but the personal spaces are being encroached. Initially it gives us a high of being in faux limelight which soon gets tiring. Thank you.

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  6. I agree with what you say Janaki! Excellent article. I know that we should change with the times and adapt to new technology and all that, but that does not mean that people step on our private space; that's sacrilege.

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    1. Thanks Sundari. I agree...we must respect the boundaries.

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  7. Janu...so true... people now dont communicate face to face but on facebook... they dont even acknowledge when we meet but on fb n other social networks, they hav all they time in world to keep a track on us...

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    1. Oh! I can write another blog post on the keeping track part. People who claim they don't have to time are the ones with the 'most' news of what is happening around, the gossips et al. Thanks Aparna.

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  8. I agree that sometimes the messaging gets too much. Forced relationship are never good. I too find the daily good morning and hello messages tiring.
    Phones have changed the way we see friendship.

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    1. For the most part I am tolerant Inderpreet but sometimes when I am having a hard is when I snap as it gets a bit too much. Thank you for reading.

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  9. Spot on Janaki and I agree whole heartedly with her on the whole friendship messaging. The net and of course, phone re-defining our friendship on this virtual space. I enjoy reading her:)

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    1. Thanks Vishal. More number of apps, more disturbance :)

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  10. I agree, Janu. Social media does get stifling when people don't care about giving each other space and respecting each other's privacy. Currently deactivated from FB, I can understand the noise even better. :)

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    1. Good to go off social media from time to time Rachna, it surely detoxifies the mind :)

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  11. I am glad I don't have any more them in my list. :) The flowery good mornings are too much to take. I wish I could remember the no. of loved ones as I used to before.

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    1. Good for you Rajlakshmi, you can breath so much easily.

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  12. You're so right, Janaki. Whatsapp scares the hell out of me! :D

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  13. You are right Janaki :-) Friendship has a new meaning in today times .But I truly respect my space even though I have some good friends in virtual world but still I prefer to have face-face conversation with a person.That does go well with the Gen Next kids. As they totally engrossed in it which is quiet Sad .

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